Uh.

No pictures. Why? My laptop is currently un-usable so here I am borrowing a laptop. Eitherways, no pictures because even if I upload them, this isn't my laptop so I shouldn't go about doing that.

Meaning no emoticons either. All text, baby. Are you prepared to read this?

Oh, by the way.

SPOILER ALERT. It's not gonna be a happy entry. END SPOILER.

So, I'm not happy recently. I'm not even close to content in my life right now. Right now my glass is more on the empty side. Kind of sucks. I'm in a slump at the moment.

But hey, everyone has those moments, right?

I can write certain things in this entry but certain people read this blog or check on it every so often and said people can read both English and Japanese so I'm gonna go ahead and be very vague.

Or be simple.

I'm not happy.

I feel empty and useless.

I feel like everything around me is as useless.

I am frustrated and upset. But I don't show it to the people who I am frustrated and/or upset towards.

Why do I have to always be the first.

I'm very much in a slump and nobody in Japan is making me smile.

I have nothing to smile about here.

The only times where I'm genuinely laughing or smiling is because I did something stupid and I know if I did it in Hawaii none of my friends would let me live it down for a good 24hours plus.

But here? Nothing exciting, nothing happening, nothing good. Nothing nothing and nothing.

I mean, I suppose there are some things to be happy about.

I finally have for a good three months and counting, steady income.

I make at least 600 a day. At most 1k over. That's awesome. That's like my entire paycheck from my other job and paychecks in Japan = once a month.

So I don't worry too much over money. Sometimes I wonder when I'll be broke again but for now, I have no worries.

So I guess that's something to be a little appreciative over.

Then there's good ol' internet and my good ol' heater.

And good ol' food. And good ol' other misc. shit.

But nothing else. When I'm lonely and sad, I can only pray and hope that my friends are on Skype. But no one's a phone call away. Everyone is more so a skype chat away.

I mean technically speaking, everyone is a phone call away but God damn long distance kills me.

So yeah.

If I want someone to hold me or something to hold me... I have a pillow and a stuffed bear.

Fuck. Fuck this, this entry is making me more not happy. I should stop this.

Balooga. Fuck, I'm craving some spam right now. More so, spam musubi in saimin. Oh God yessssss. I'll try to go make that. I still have like four cans of spam left. Yes.

I mean not spam musubi in saimin. Fuck, that's weird. I mean spam in saimin. It's like 2 in the morning. Give me a break.